The Darcy Diaries
by ThereAreWorseGamesToPlay
Summary: (Lizzie Bennet Diaries Universe. A oneshot/drabble of Darcy's thoughts and actions after episode 60/ before episode 61.) Darcy felt only rejection and humiliation as he left Lizzie's office, but still was eager to learn where Lizzie's loathing stemmed from. And what better way than to study her videos? Originally posted on my Tumblr.


Lizzie turned off the video camera hastily, covering her eyes with a hand.

"What videos?" Darcy repeated.

"Nothing. Just pretend I said nothing." Darcy stared at her, for a little bit too long, making her uncomfortable. "Look, Darcy, I gave you your answer. I have work to do."

Darcy got up, understanding that she wanted him to leave. He nodded frigidly, trying not to show any emotion. A robot. "I'm sorry for the intrusion. Goodbye, Lizzie." She didn't answer back as he paced out the door hurriedly.

Embarrassment was all Darcy felt as he walked down to the parking garage, into his convertible, and drove to Fitz's apartment where he was staying. He scurried through the door, past Fitz lying on the couch watching some crappy reality TV show, and to the fridge to get a beer; Darcy sighed loudly in frustration and Fitz looked up, moving closer to him.

"Darcy, my man, how'd it go with Lizzie B," he asked enthusiastically. "When's your date? Actually, no, when's the wedding so I can mark it on the calendar? I call best man!"

Darcy continued drinking his beer, not making any eye contact with Fitz.

"Tell me the details, man!" Darcy faced Fitz with a bitter look. Fitz looked back, somewhat surprised. "She said no?"

"She said more than no. She said I was a pretentious snob, that I ruined all her happiness and that I'm the last person on earth she'd ever want to be with."

"Well, she's right about the first part," Fitz said with a laugh as Darcy glared at him. "I'm kidding. But what happened? I mean, I pretty much gave you a script on what to say, and I put in a few good words for you too."

"I went in and I-I tried saying what we had practiced, but within 5 seconds she started screaming at me, and then all of a sudden I'm telling her I love her! And then…then she rejected me. She _rejected_ me. No one has ever said no to me."

"That's because you're loaded with money, Darcy." Fitz sighed. "You dropped the L word, though. That's where you went wrong. You scared her away."

Darcy ignored him. "She said she had web videos… about me."

"Don't get too proud, dude, they aren't all about you."

Darcy looked up at Fitz quizzically. "You knew she had videos? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Yeah, I'm in some of them; and she told me not to. She's my friend; I'm going to respect her wishes."

Darcy stared at his beer bottle, rolling it in his hands, thinking. "I should watch them."

Fitz looked at him judgingly. "No. Bad idea. She doesn't want you to see them. And besides, she already said no. If you watch them, you're going to try to try to make her like you, and it isn't going to be good. One of you is going to get hurt; but more importantly, I'll be in the middle of it." Fitz looked at his watch, and rolled his eyes. "I'm going to be late for work. But, listen to me Darcy. Do not watch her videos." He pointed his finger at him, and Darcy shrugged. With one last 'no', Fitz left.

Darcy finished his beer, and walked up to his room, pulling out his laptop. He answered a few E-mails and wrote a message to Gigi, his sister. However, he had the driving impulse to know what Lizzie's videos were about. Hesitantly, he went to YouTube, writing into the search bar Lizzie Bennet. His heart raced as he saw 60 videos glaring back at him, most with a screen caption of her face smiling. There was at least three hours of footage, but he had time. Anxiously, he clicked the first video in a playlist and looked on as Lizzie introduced herself to the world.

The first few videos were introductory, nothing he didn't already know, but he watched anyway. She smiled and laughed as Darcy watched intently. In the fourth video, Lydia mentioned his name. His stomach began to flip, wondering what Lizzie would say.

"That's an awful name…it's like he's a dubstep DJ," Lizzie commented. Darcy rolled his eyes, but hoped to hear more about him. Unfortunately, Lizzie continued on with other things in mind.

Until Episode 6. Snobby Mr. Douchey: just from the title, Darcy knew it was about him. He paused it, thinking he should stop there, never knowing what bad things Lizzie might have said about him. But he soldiered on. He needed to know what Lizzie had said. She threw around words- from snobby to rude to handsome to arrogant. And then it was time for Costume Theater.

"I don't even own a bowtie…" Darcy shouted to the screen.

He continued on, commenting here and there. When Jane showed up on screen, Darcy felt resounding guilt more and more each time. She was shy, just like he was, and modest. But, she liked Bing, and the more he saw of her, the more he knew it wasn't for the money. She even did him justice when pretending to be him at Carter's, vouching that he wasn't as one sided as Lizzie thought he was.

When the videos caught up to her time at Netherfield. Surprise struck him when he found out Caroline was in the videos and then anger when she made Lizzie believe he was a horrible person. He had always known Caroline had liked him, but never though she would act upon Lizzie with malice.

Some videos rushed by without any mention of his name, while others dragged on as Lizzie talked about him objectively and spitefully. And then came George Wickham. He clicked past those, until he remembered what Lizzie had said about his "struggles." He forced himself to watch Wickham with Lizzie, feeling jealousy at their closeness and resentment at his unbridled attempts at flirting. _He would take off his shirt_, Darcy thought.

Wickham told his story, or his tall tale, as Darcy looked on horrified at the blatant lies he was being accused of. Spite rose up inside him with each passing moment. Soon enough, he was gone: from the videos, as well as Lizzie's life. He always up and left women, making them fall for him to hurt them in return. Wickham was everything Darcy wished never to be, and Lizzie fell for his lies as easily as Gigi did.

Darcy felt more resounding blame as he watched Jane's sorrow in "Snickerdoodles," almost stopping the videos then and there. But there was only a handful more, and these were the ones at Collins and Collins. A nervous lump formed in his throat as Fitz tried to make Darcy look like a nice guy to Lizzie, especially when he told her what he had done for Bing. Lizzie looked crushed and Darcy's heart fell.

Two videos remained, both with him in it. He watched them both without comment. He couldn't decide which was worse. The first, which Lizzie spewed out hate as he sat feeling utterly hopeless; or the second, where he made a complete embarrassment of himself only to be turned down.

It was two in the morning by the time he was done watching them all. It was four before he was able to think somewhat clearly. He couldn't sleep, knowing how wrong he was in some things, and how wrong Lizzie was in others. But, he was determined. He would need see her in two days at work, and there he would tell her the truth. Once it was time for the mall closest to him to be open, Darcy drove to Barney's and bought one single item: a bowtie.


End file.
